Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Give It Up!?
So I have been doing some thinking. Actually, I didn't do it all on my own but things kinda just fell into place. I have had this huge itch for mission work. I'm talking about sweating for Jesus. I am signed up to work at samaritan's purse headquarters in Boone a few times but I want more. well, i went to CCF ( Campus christian Fellowship) and the speaker was talking about mission work. I've heard it before but this time it really hit. If I were to lay it all in God's hands would I do it? Well, actually the question is more would I lay it all in God's hands? For me I convinve myself time and time again that if he asked I would do it. But why don't I give it all over, and then he gives me back what he doesn't require of me. Does this make sense? I mean I could say all day that if God called me to be single for the rest of my life or if he called me to do local missions that I would be fine with that. But as much as most of me is saying "Come on God lets make it happen" there is still this infinitely small, (like 1/100000000000000 for all of you left brained people) part of me saying Could you really give it up? This is my struggle, its moved from me asking, do I wanna be saved, to I am really saved, all the way to "Im save but how far do i really wanna go?" I need prayers, words of wisdom, and any input! This summer I need to take some classes but I feel like I should be somewhere else, putting my time and energy in someone else!