Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Give It Up!?

So I have been doing some thinking. Actually, I didn't do it all on my own but things kinda just fell into place. I have had this huge itch for mission work. I'm talking about sweating for Jesus. I am signed up to work at samaritan's purse headquarters in Boone a few times but I want more. well, i went to CCF ( Campus christian Fellowship) and the speaker was talking about mission work. I've heard it before but this time it really hit. If I were to lay it all in God's hands would I do it? Well, actually the question is more would I lay it all in God's hands? For me I convinve myself time and time again that if he asked I would do it. But why don't I give it all over, and then he gives me back what he doesn't require of me. Does this make sense? I mean I could say all day that if God called me to be single for the rest of my life or if he called me to do local missions that I would be fine with that. But as much as most of me is saying "Come on God lets make it happen" there is still this infinitely small, (like 1/100000000000000 for all of you left brained people) part of me saying Could you really give it up? This is my struggle, its moved from me asking, do I wanna be saved, to I am really saved, all the way to "Im save but how far do i really wanna go?" I need prayers, words of wisdom, and any input! This summer I need to take some classes but I feel like I should be somewhere else, putting my time and energy in someone else!


Kevin said...
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Kevin said...

As a "for what it's worth," I have been trying to comment on this post since a couple of days since you wrote it, but everytime I start to, I have to cop out for feeling like a hypocrite. I think there are a lot of us who are feeling that. I think it has a great deal to do with the fact that we see so many of our blessings (individual, community, and national) and we know that we have the power to do more for God's children than buy ourselves fancy things. It would be an interesting thing to do wouldn't it--to see just how far you would allow God to take you? It's kind of scary, but good scary... I don't quite know if what I am saying synchs up with what you are saying, but if you are in church this Sunday (the 18th or something)throw out what you are thinking. It definately jives with what we are going to be talking about.